Are you stuck in a job, relationship, or life situation that you hate? Do you find yourself always daydreaming of something or someone that you would rather have instead? Maybe you’ve made some feeble attempts at finding something better but the cards seemed stacked against you. It seems that no matter how hard you try, you can’t find the right person, dream job, or improve your environment that you find yourself stuck in for so long. It seems like the universe is against you and you’re doomed to settling for what you have, forever. Here’s a crazy thought. Maybe you need to change and be the best version of yourself and therefore, attract the best things to you naturally. What if everything you’ve tried was an external attempt at changing your reality but it didn’t work because you were not good enough, yet? The keyword in that sentence is yet. The best way out is to look within. The solution to all your problems is that you have to change. If your life sucks and you’re stuck in a job, relationship, or dire situation you hate is because you have to improve yourself to improve your situation. Carl Jung said it best, ” Whoever looks outside, dreams. Whoever looks inside, awakens.” However, change is not an easy thing to do. We all have so many fears and old habits and thought patterns holding us back. We’ve been doing what we’ve been doing for so long, that the thought of doing something different just seems so overwhelming. Where do you even begin? What else is the alternative though? Continue being stuck in a dead-end job/ relationship or always settling for second best and living a passionless life? Where you just work, procreate and just die? That’s no life worth living. So its time to embrace your fears. Run towards them not away. Feel the fear but do it anyway. It’s time to change your inner world to change your outer world.
9 Ways to Change From the Inside Out
1. Create new healthy habits and break old toxic ones.
Habits are the number one culprits behind not having the life you want. You have to make an honest inventory of all your toxic habits and systematically eliminate them. In addition, you have to start adding habits that will improve your life. Don’t beat yourself up for relapsing to old habits when you first start. According to this recent study, the average time it takes to break or create a new habit is 66 days. When you find yourself slipping into your old ways… relax, breathe, smile and start again. There is also the ancient art of Kaizen you can rely on for help. It’s a Japanese philosophy and loosely translated, means making continuous positive changes in small increments. They are so small and achievable, that you will have no issues completing them. For example, if you want to get fit but the idea of hitting the gym for even 20 minutes makes your eyes glaze over in anticipation. But what about just doing 3 push-ups/ 3 sec plank/3 jumping jacks? Totally achievable right? I wrote a blog about it in great detail on how to apply the principles of Kaizen here if you would like to know more.
2. Change your mindset from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset
Did you know about the new science of Neuroplasticity? That means your brain is malleable and any skill or talent can be acquired or learned. Before, scientists thought that your IQ, skills and talents that you were born with were set for life and cannot be changed. Meaning you’re stuck with what you have since birth. This has been proven not to be the case. Read about the study here. You can actually boost your IQ, master a talent, or acquire any new skill by meticulous practice, study, and trial & error. This is the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. That means the sky’s the limit. Whatever you can perceive, you can achieve.
“Wheather you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right”
Henry Ford
3. Find a Mentor
No matter what you’re into or what you want to achieve in life, someone’s already been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt. Finding a mentor will help you fast track your efforts and inspire you to grow into the person you were meant to be. It’s also a great way to stand on the shoulder of giants. They can shave off years of mistakes and pitfalls that you may encounter in your quest for greatness. An effective way to find the right one is to start by digging into books, podcasts, youtube videos, and audiobooks. For my detailed blog about this, click here
4. Change your subconscious patterns and behaviors from the inside out
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, it seems you always go back to old habits and ways of thinking and being when you are not paying attention. It’s like you have an autopilot mode that keeps activating when you’re not aware. Well as a matter of fact, that’s actually the case. Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it in his amazing book called “The Biology of Belief” Much of who we are is ingrained within us at a subconscious level when we were very young. From the day we born till around the age of 6, we are in Theta brain wave state. That’s the dream-like state when we are like sponges and we just absorb all the information that is being thrown at us. Mainly by our parents and society. How to be, what to think, what to believe, how to act. All of it is being absorbed into our brains at an unconscious level. This is also when you’re most vulnerable to deep trauma. This leads to addiction and negative coping habits that carry on to adulthood. Your mind also protects you by erasing painful childhood memories in the process. I highly recommend meditation, yoga, and eastern philosophies/techniques, and religious self-study to identify childhood traumas and for treatment. I also recommend the advice of Dr. Gabor Mate and Dr. Stan Graf’s holotropic breathwork as well.
5. Hypnotherapy and energy psychology to change the subconscious mind
Since you have all these automatic negative programs deep in your psyche, it’s not so simple to change them. You can’t just use your will power to get rid of all that trauma and unconscious thought patterns and behaviors just like that. It’s not that simple. You have to release them the same way they were put in. You have to put yourself back into theta state.
There is a new modality that is super efficient called energy psychology. It activates the brain to be in a state of super learning. If you engage super learning, you can rewrite subconscious programs in about 10 minutes. So years of habitual unconscious beliefs and patterns can be rewritten quickly with this new science. This is a list of websites and links that use this amazing new process here. * (Note, I’m not affiliated with any of these companies and am referring them solely as an act of service to my readers.)*
A really good hypnotherapist can help you regress in your mind to the point of where the trauma had happened. They can then help you to resolve the issue so you may have closure so it doesn’t affect your life anymore. *** Note I’m not a Doctor Please read my disclaimer here
6. Free alternative to hypnotherapy
If you would like a free alternative to hypnotherapy, you can induce your own theta state. You’re in this state when you are drifting off to sleep. When you’re not quite asleep yet not awake is when you go into theta. This is the perfect time to introduce suggestive affirmations as it will go directly into your subconscious mind. There is an amazing series on youtube I recommend called Daughsey Meditations. These are numerous meditations designed to change your thought patterns and behaviors on a subconscious level. This is also how yoga Nidra works. This is one of my favorite Dauchsy meditations. Remember to keep your device far away from you as you go to sleep as the emf’s from it is harmful to you. More on this in my article here
7. Experimentation – the art of failing your way to success.
If necessity is the mother of invention, then experimentation is the father to that success. How many times have you tried something new a few times and gave up because you felt you were not good at it or it seemed impossible? Everything is impossible until it’s been done. How did you think we were able to land on the moon? Also sometimes, its not in the number of attempts but in the way you attempt it. Never be afraid to keep on experimenting with different ways of doing, being, and learning. Keep in mind that everyone’s skill sets are different as well. The more you fail, the more you learn what doesn’t work for you. Then it’s only a matter of time until you fail your way to success.
8. Constantly change your environment to grow
Sometimes you’re feeling a lack of motivation or you’ve reached a plateau of some sort in your growth. This is when it’s time to completely change your environment. You are the product of your environment. Pay very close attention to this. This is the difference between an oak tree grown in the desert or in a fertile lush forest. At ninety years old, one will have hardly reached 30 feet tall. The other, however, has become a massive monolith with majestic branches towering 90 feet higher or more. Also, pay attention to your current environment at all times. Are there ways you can improve it and are there toxins present? Is the temperature to hot/cold, is there too much noise, are there toxic people, chemicals, light around, etc? Always be changing and readjusting your environment for optimal performance and growth. Sometimes when you stay in a certain geographical location for too long, you become stagnant. There are so many factors you can change in a particular location. That’s why it’s so good to travel often. I wrote about the many benefits here
9. Continuous learning for exponential growth
I can’t stress enough the importance of always learning new and different things and the many ways of being and doing. We are in the information age and you have within your head, the most advanced supercomputer. But the mind is like a parachute, it only works when it’s open. You can learn so many things if you just be open to the possibilities. However, be aware of seeker’s bias. That is the tendency of your mind to only accept and see the information that validates your opinions and beliefs. There is also the halo effect. This is when you tend to believe everything a person says because you subconsciously connect with them or you admire them. Never be spoon-fed information. Always check the facts out and cross-reference with your intuition and other mentors you know and trust. At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong, fact or fiction, truth or lies. The world and situations arise how they are. It’s just our own perceptions, world views, upbringing and personal opinions that warp how we process the information. Never discount another’s one’s views or opinions just because they differ from your own. In fact actively have an educated discussion with them, not an argument to see what they see. Ninety-nine of the world’s problems are caused because of misunderstanding and miscommunication. What is more important, is that you learn from each other and you both grow in the process. Never lose your sense of wonder and curiosity. The secrets of the universe are in the unraveling of its mysteries.
What are your favorite ways to change? Do you have an interesting story or comment to share? I would love to hear them. If you loved what you’ve read please let me know also in the comments below!
